Each year in January, my girlfriends and I go away for two days and reconnect. We discuss our prior year and set goals for the New Year. We each ask God for a word to guide us through the upcoming year. I am always blown away by my word and how spot on it is for my journey that follows. So as we enter the fourth quarter of the year, I wanted to break down how my word has guided me so far. But first, a history of my past words:

My word for 2015 was “believe.”

My word for 2016 was “free.”

My word for 2017 was “light.”

I was really surprised my word was “light” when I first received it back in January. But over the year, its meaning has slowly unfolded. I feel like it’s helped me to remain in the light when things feel hard and I want to slip into the darkness. I am reminded to stay conscious and present and to be mindful of where my thoughts are running off to.

And the duality of my word is beautiful. I’ve mostly seen my word as being a light bearer and a light seeker, But I’ve also seen “light” as lightening the load I bear on a daily basis. On letting go of the thoughts and feelings that don’t serve me. This is hard for me. Harder than anyone knows. My thoughts have the tendency to go negative in the blink of an eye. And living “lighter” means hands wide open, turned towards the sky. Empty handed, ready to receive what God has for me.

It makes sense looking back how I first had to “believe” with all my heart that change was possible. What a year that was. I was truly fighting an uphill battle. I have many childhood triggers I’m constantly working through as they come up. Processing my feelings is part of the work I do to be conscious with my family.

The word “free” was a relief in many ways for me. After such a hard year, I felt I was a butterfly finishing its transformation and flying off into the world. Of course, I still feel stuck oftentimes. And that is where “light” comes in. To remind me that this journey of life is anything but easy. But it can be whatever I want it to be. I can come into the light any time I choose. I can stay in the light. It’s that simple. When I want to fade away to blackness or just shut out the noise, I am reminded my job is to be light – to my kids and to my family and friends.

It’s no coincidence 2017 was the year of the total solar eclipse. My friend posted a picture of the moon blocking the sun with this caption and it so moved me: “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”

The darkness does not have a hold on me. I believe it and I am grateful to see the light. I am so excited to find out my word for 2018.

Love Yourself

A photo by Azrul Aziz. unsplash.com/photos/_14v_Fbk4SQ

I notice moms everywhere…passing by me at Target and at gymnastics – 2 kids in tow, 1 on the way. The stressed look on her face. Trying to juggle it all. Feeling all alone. Life wasn’t supposed to be like this, was it? Isn’t this what she looked forward to her whole life? Getting married and having babies? Why did no one tell her how hard it would be? Why did no one tell her to stay young just a little while longer. Little did she know how many sleepless nights were ahead of her. How many fevers she would tend to. How many days the laundry would pile up around her while she felt anything but joy. Continue reading “Love Yourself”

Longing to Belong


I’ve always been a person who has routinely “belonged” to something – be it a church, small group, or simply a band of like-minded moms. Belonging to these communities has always been a staple in my life. That feeling of being known, loved, and welcomed with open arms is something I have found to be invaluable. I even encourage other women to “find your tribe” and love them well. I know we aren’t meant to do this life alone, and we all need this type of support. Continue reading “Longing to Belong”

Thoughts on Lent


{photo c/o: Unsplash}

Today is Ash Wednesday, the day that marks the beginning of Lent. It is meant to be a time of fasting, prayer, and repentance for Catholics and many Christians. I don’t know why, but for me, Lent has never had much of an impact on my life. I was born and raised Catholic and went through the rituals just like everyone around me did. But as an adult, I see the season as such a dark time. And it’s hard for me to grasp this darkness, since I’m very much aware of how the story unfolds. I agree that we should definitely acknowledge what Jesus went through for us, but Jesus is alive today because the ultimate redemption was gifted to us. Continue reading “Thoughts on Lent”

“Free” at Last


Earlier this month I went on a girls’ trip to my old stomping grounds of LA. The purpose of the trip was to relax, catch up with each other, and to connect with God and process all that has happened personally in the prior year. We each take some time to be alone and ask God for what our “word of the year” might be going forward. Continue reading ““Free” at Last”

New Year, New Word

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With the New Year upon us, resolutions and goals are everywhere. Not one for setting lofty expectations, I tend to shy away from the typical goal-setting. Instead I view the coming year as a clean slate, which I admittedly love. Who couldn’t use a point in time to start over in many ways?  It feels so cleansing to look ahead to the blank page that is 2016. Continue reading “New Year, New Word”

Keep on moving


Fall is quickly approaching, and I could not be happier about it.  Autumn has always been my favorite time of year.  I love the crispness in the air, and the fact that I can wear jeans and booties again!  I adore all things pumpkin and basically, everything about this season.  But this year, it seems a little sweeter.  It was ten years ago this month that I made the cross-country trek to Southern California to start a new life.  When I reflect on all that has happened in this past decade, I am blown away.  God’s goodness is overwhelming. Continue reading “Keep on moving”

Seeking Sunshine


My spiritual journey has definitely changed over the past few years.  Before I was a parent, I had the luxury of attending weekend retreats away and being a part of regular prayer and meditation nights.  I also made space for connecting with God through journaling and solitude days.  Since becoming a parent, I don’t have the time for most of these practices in this season of life.  I’m lucky to squeeze in a prayer night once in awhile with my girlfriends or an hour of quiet time here and there. Continue reading “Seeking Sunshine”

The Pursuit of Happiness

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A year or so ago I wrote a blog on the importance of Mom being happy – ’cause if Mom isn’t happy, then certainly no one else in the house is.  I longed for joy-filled days and had never realized until last year how it was truly up to me to change this.

It’s been a long time coming, but I am finally seeing the fruits of my labor.  Some days I still find myself giving in to that old familiar mindset, but more often than not, I’m able to keep things positive. Continue reading “The Pursuit of Happiness”

Up, Up, and Away

Last week I posted a piece on the signs I saw that motivated me to start this blog…that was a small glimpse into what I have experienced in the past few years.  Sometime it’s signs, other times it’s symbols, dreams, other people, or even songs.  When I contemplated my cross-country move to Los Angeles, I asked God to show me signs to come to California.  And He gave them to me almost instantly.  There were literal signs and there were doors that opened simultaneously to make the move fall into place.

Continue reading “Up, Up, and Away”