I was all set to write a Mother’s Day post that included sentimental thoughts on parenting as well as my hopes and dreams for my children.
Then today happened. And I found myself wishing that maybe I could spend Mother’s Day alone. I know…awful. But not. Because this job is hard.
By 8am they had both tested my patience so badly that I almost cried trying to get the three of us out the door and by 8pm, I felt like I had run a marathon. Ok, maybe a couple marathons since my husband pointed out that a marathon would take me around five hours.
Anyway, what is on my mind at the end of today is Mothering Every Day rather than Mother’s Day. True, it is nice there is a day to celebrate us. But I am thinking we deserve more than one day a year! Seriously, the range of emotions I felt today and the number of fires I put out – I feel like a crazy person with how all over the place my days can be. Yet I know I am not alone! You are all right there with me on this volatile, joyful, grueling, glorious journey we call mothering.
If there is one thing I know though, it is that somehow we push through. I was driving somewhere recently and it sparked a memory of how hard the summer was two years ago. My daughter wasn’t yet in school and my son was going through the sleep regressions that happen around 4 to 6 months. I literally felt like a zombie and he wouldn’t sleep more than 30 minutes anywhere except on me in the Ergo. My 2-year-old had really stepped up to the plate in her testing and I felt like a failure most days. So when I think on days like today that this phase is never-ending, truth be told – it is not. This, too, shall pass. And then it will turn into something else.
I will absolutely take having a 4-year-old and a 2-year-old over those sleep-deprived summer days from two years ago. We have progressed on to bigger and better things. You know, having two kids who don’t listen instead of one. Sibling fights over anything and everything. Nonstop talking and noise. But we have also graduated to only one person in the house in diapers, no round-the-clock feedings and the ability for me to walk from room to room without my youngest losing his mind (that one lasted the majority of last year).
So as I reflect on my upcoming fifth Mother’s Day, I am embracing the realness of not just that day, but Every Day. These days are messy, hard and imperfect by a landslide. Yet the small moments of snuggling and stealing kisses and seeing them hold hands somehow still make my heart skip a beat and quickly sting my eyes with tears. These two are my greatest accomplishments, hands down. I know I am beyond blessed that God chose me to be their mother.
Happy Mother’s Day and ‘Every Day’ to all of you – you more than deserve it!