Last week I posted a piece on the signs I saw that motivated me to start this blog…that was a small glimpse into what I have experienced in the past few years. Sometime it’s signs, other times it’s symbols, dreams, other people, or even songs. When I contemplated my cross-country move to Los Angeles, I asked God to show me signs to come to California. And He gave them to me almost instantly. There were literal signs and there were doors that opened simultaneously to make the move fall into place.
When I wasn’t sure I could handle the pregnancy nausea again to have a second child, I asked God to give me a specific song so I would know I could survive it and it wasn’t a mistake to try for another baby. Three weeks later while grocery shopping, I heard “the song” and less than a week later I took a pregnancy test that was positive. Over and over again, God’s faithfulness blows me away.
Often times the signs I see are not obvious or I have to sort of piece things together to receive the message. I often question if something is my own doing or if it truly is God. But then I will keep seeing whatever it is, and I know it’s from Him. And at times I definitely feel it is my subconscious speaking to me in my dreams – telling me if something needs my attention. And God sort of helps things along and gets me moving into the process.
Over the past few months, I have been noticing balloons. Balloons are childlike and whimsical. They’re used to celebrate: birthday parties, new babies, the token balloon drop on New Year’s Eve. They can be so metaphorical – holding on to things and letting go. I kept thinking I’m just seeing these balloons because they’re so much a part of having kids: parties, books, shows. But I was also seeing them elsewhere…and hearing songs such as ’99 Luft Balloons’ was the kicker.
Okay, God, you have my attention. What is it you’re wanting to show me?
My first thought was letting go of fear and anxieties. Which always involves getting to the deeper root of what I am trying to avoid feeling. Processing these emotions is imperative – as we hold on, we can’t truly be free. So for me, this is a lifelong process I return to often. When things come up, I now know to pay attention and go from there.
I still wasn’t sure what to make of the balloon sign specifically until I started having some telling dreams. After more interpretation (why can’t it ever just be direct?!) and a word of wisdom from my daughter (okay, God, I’m reading you loud and clear now), I figured it out. I took an hour or two at the beach alone to journal and process the emotions and ‘let go’ of what I was holding onto. Since then, I’m definitely in a better place emotionally.
This continual communication makes my life flow like a calm river in the midst of storms. The key is paying attention so I don’t miss out on the messages. There are times life is so hectic, crazy and hard, yet I know I have this beautiful hand guiding me daily, and for that, I am so grateful.